Oh look – I found a brick wall to bang my head into! Who said 2020 doesn’t offer gifts?

I was sitting outside my son’s orthodontist office waiting for him to come out when I snapped this selfie and texted it off to my friends for a laugh.

But, then later, it occurred to me that for some people, a brick wall into oblivion doesn’t sound like such a bad idea right now.

I’m not going to lie. Things have been tough. I’ve learned to manage my anxiety thankfully, but there now seems to be an endless void of screens and getting kids off screens and when the smoke clears enough, we jump in the pool. We are MASTERS at Marco Polo in our house.

And then suddenly, it’s the end of the day, week, month.

What happened? Wasn’t it just June?

We are all in what I am calling the time suck vortex.

I don’t know a soul that has lived through this level of uncertainty. Do you?

I’ve been in times of crisis, a car accident, a family death.  But there is always a point that you know things will settle.

When I was a student or a teacher, I’d have periods of time that were high stress: finals and grading periods. I’d tell myself: I can do anything for 2 weeks. A break was always in sight. Then finals ended, grades turned in.

And there would be a period of recovery. Right now, we have no end in sight.

There are educated guesses. Rumors. Speculation.

But the truth is no one knows when this will end.

We’re like a kid kicking a rock all the way home from school. Only there is no home. We just keep kicking the same damn rock.

We are digging deep into our resources and resilience we never knew we had. Or- realizing we don’t have and need to build. When we have the thought: “I can’t do this any longer.” Remind yourself of this:


If it were just the pandemic, maybe it would be okay. But we are living through crisis after crisis on local and national scales. Racial injustice. Fires. Air quality. Political division.

I’m doing my best. You are doing your best. Yes, even when you spend a day binge watching Schitt’s Creek and let your kids have free reign on screens.

When our coping resources are stripped, we are forced to find new ones or revisit old ones that once served us.

So, banish the guilt of too much chocolate and Netflix. It’s what you need to get through. And get through you will.

I’m here to support you if you need to build some resilience muscles to get through. If the old ways aren’t working or are now causing you pain, please reach out. If the anxiety is so overwhelming, you can’t get out of bed, I’ve been there. I can help you build your toolbox.

I have a group program forming up now for the end of September. There is a place for you to be supported, to learn new patterns and build new resilience muscles. There is a place for you to be messy.

You don’t have to bang your head against a brick wall. I have 5 openings next week for a FREE Dial Down Anxiety Discovery Sessions. I’d like to help you find relief. Please email me if you could use some support right now.

Until then, buckets of love, grace and resilience. You are doing the hard thing. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Long exhale,


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